This is an older article that was originally posted on my Titus 2 Ministries web site a few years ago. I’ve updated it a bit and am re-posting it here, as it is very applicable still today! I hope you are blessed by it.
Have you ever wondered why all Christians don’t interpret scripture and live their lives the same way? I have! When I was first born-again as a new Christian, I didn’t know much about the Bible, how a Christian should live, I didn’t have any Christian friends, nor was I raised in a Christian home. So I was more than a little clueless! However, as time passed, and I began to read God’s word and grow in my knowledge and faith – I learned a bit about the kingdom of God and it’s inhabitants (i.e., other Christians). At first, what I discovered stumped and befuddled me. Then, I became one of those self-righteous (I-have-it-right-you-have-it-wrong) type believers (*shudder!*). Now I’ve come to realize a few important things about the differences between obedience to God’s word versus convictions, preferences and sin – and what I learned humbled me greatly.
First, let me try to define each of these things, so we have a better understanding about them.
Obedience: the state, fact or an instance of obeying, or a willingness to obey; submission. Merriam-Webster
Conviction: a strong persuasion or belief. Merriam-Webster
Preference: the power or opportunity of choosing. Merriam-Webster
Sin: transgression of the law of God. Merriam-Webster
Basically obedience is submission to God’s word. To do what it says because God asks us to. A conviction is something God tells you to do, or more clearly how He tells you to interpret scripture. It may be to wear dresses only, to homeschool or whatever. These convictions will be supported through scripture as to how/why they are a good way to live your life, but God does not give everyone the same convictions. A preference is something that may be found in scripture, but you haven’t been convicted, you just prefer to live your life in this manner. Examples of some preferences may be not to own a TV, not to listen to contemporary Christian music, etc… Sin is if you disobey God’s direct commandments [read: the Bible] and/or convictions he has given you!
In 1996 I was moved by God to more deeply study His word and to learn all I can about my God and His ways. I had read the Bible before, had done Bible studies at church, etc…. but a deeper meaning alluded me. God was working on me during this time and I began to question many things I saw in scripture – like modesty, quiverfull, etc…. If it was clearly there in scripture, then why didn’t everyone do this. I knew I was saved by grace, but I kept coming back to the scriptures regarding these issues time and time again. God finally convicted me that I was to dress in dresses only, we were to give complete control of my womb over to Him, practice courtship for our children, homeschool, home church with like-minded believers and the list goes on. We did this for several years.
During that time, God taught me many, many lessons through situations that arose because of our convictions. I had to fully trust in God’s word and His direction for our life. The ‘things’ we were doing in obedience were building our faith level in God. We knew we could trust Him in all things – and had to learn this through some difficult confrontations over our convictions. But we stood firm.
However, the greatest lesson that was gained during this time (at least for me personally) was dealing with spiritual pride! While God most definitely convicted me in each of these areas, He did so to teach me something about myself and more importantly about His GRACE!! After I finally dealt with my pride, and realized that I didn’t need to know why God chose to convict some people to live one way and other people to live another, then I was ready for God’s ultimate test of my faith – was I willing to lay aside these convictions and rely solely on His SAVING GRACE?!! WOW!!! I am still just as much a saved Christian if I wear pants, if I use birth control, etc… God still loves me! I still get to go to heaven!!! While I always really knew this – I felt that I needed to ‘DO’ these other things to prove that I was worthy of His grace and love. The bottom line is that nothing I could ever do would make me worthy – which is why Jesus died for my sins. HALLELUJAH!!!!!
“Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.” Romans 10:4
So where does this leave me today on some key/hot topic issues?
Dresses only: I do wear some very loose, modest pants now – but I do still wear dresses mostly. Of course I do dress modestly. I haven’t gone the way of micro-mini skirts, halter tops and bikinis!!! But am wearing some slacks and even some longer shorts and loving my freedom in Christ. Even so, in all honesty, I just love dresses! It’s just my personal preference and and they suit me and my personality.
Quiverfull: While we remain quiverfull in our hearts: due to some serious female problems, I had to undergo a total hysterectomy in April 2003. So no more babies for us. I have given a lot of thought and prayer to this topic and I can not get past the great reservation I have for birth control pills. I am greatly concerned about their long-term health effects on women and the still lingering question of their abortive potential. Even the slightest possibility that the pill could cause an abortion would be enough for me to not recommend it as a sole birth control method. I realize that some women use birth control pills for reasons other than just birth control – to regulate cycles, etc…. I am not a doctor, so I will not go into all that. I’m merely conveying my own personal thoughts and opinions on this subject as it relates to being quiverful.
I’m perhaps not as hard-core quiverful as some; but I do consider all children a blessing. I also realize that children need healthy mothers around to raise them. So I do believe in natural family planning to help – God willing – in spacing children and giving mommas a break. I believe God allowed us to know signs of ovulation to help us to know when we are fertile for a reason. Ultimately, I believe that all children are blessings, whether your quiver is full with two or twelve and thus so by your choice or God’s will – I pray that you will be the best parents God would have you to be, raising up Godly warriors for Christ: that’s what will make your quiver truly FULL.
Homeschooling: We think homeschooling is a great thing; but it’s not for every family. Public schools, at least where I live, aren’t all that great. Thankfully, when we moved over two years ago, there was an awesome small private Christian school nearby that the children now attend. If it weren’t for this school, we would definitely still be homeschooling.
We’re content with where God has brought us in our walk. Our only desire is to serve Him as He sees fit for our family to do! I would encourage you to not look to the ways of other families – but to look to God for how your family should live.
The following verses have weighed heavily on my heart:
“So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith, and everything that does not come from faith is sin.” Romans 14:22-23
The above verses were instrumental in opening my eyes to the fact that I truly am saved by Grace and that if I truly believed in my heart that God still loves me – no matter what I wear, etc.. then I was not sinning against Him. We are saved by Grace – not by what we wear, eat, etc…..!!! In the same sense, if you do not believe in your heart, that it’s okay to wear pants, or use birth control, or whatever, and God has convicted you of these issues – then if you were not to follow that, then you would be sinning – in accordance with the above verses.
Let me make something clear: my sin was in the attitude of my heart in what I was doing. It wasn’t the things I was doing that were wrong. Dressing modestly, and seeing children as blessings, etc… is what God’s word tells us to do. But we must do it with our heart toward God and not on ourselves boasting about how righteous we are because of what we’re doing. We must always obey the word of God in all things. But I do believe that God’s spirit will reveal the meaning of the scriptures to us in His timing for how we are to apply it to our lives. There are times when we are baby [read: new] Christians and we are not ready for the meatier morsels in God’s word, but we do need to eventually mature in our faith and grow-up in our knowledge of God, his word and how he would like us to live.
So you are only adding to the family needs one person at a time, one little person. If with the first baby, you buy the necessities you will use, and then re-use them with each baby, your costs are very minimal those first few years. Breastfeeding is free and cloth diapering is free after the first baby! Personally, we use a cradle for our newborns, then move them to a crib, but if you practice sleep sharing with your baby, you don’t need a crib at all! I highly recommend a baby sling and perhaps a high chair for later on, and of course a car seat. Other than sleepers and a few outfits, you’re set for a newborn!
