I have been watching the Duggar family’s new reality TV show 18 Kids and Counting for the past couple of weeks.  I really like the show.  Of course, I admit, I have a fascination with the Duggar’s like many others apparently do as well, in part, because of the size of their family; but also because we too are a quiverful family. I’ve read some on other forums, some of these forums are Christian (some not), and what I find surprising is that when the Duggar family is mentioned there is a wide range of emotional responses that ensue. From the encouraging to the enraged! I find this odd.

Let me state up front, I have never personally met the JimBob or Michelle Duggar, nor any of their children.  I have watched news specials about them for a few years now, and read what’s on their web site. So I have as much access to information about them as anyone else.  I am also a quiverful convicted born-again Christian, and I do happen to know a little bit about the ATI/Bill Gothard materials they use for their homeschooling, as we attended a home-church for two years with families who used this training method in their homes and homeschooling.

All that to say, I think the Duggar’s are very misunderstood in general, which I guess is to be expected by non-Christians; but I find it a bit shocking some comments I read by those claiming to be Christian.  I have yet to hear JimBob or Michelle Duggar tell anyone they must have dozens of children.  They do state that children are a blessing: and I believe this is the message they are trying to convey to everyone.  I believe this is their sole reason and purpose for their reality TV show.

God himself has said children are a blessing (Psalm 127:3-5) and debt is a curse (Deut. 28:15,43,44); yet in our society today, we apply for a debt and reject the blessings!  What’s up with that?! Look at where our society is right now financially – with the stock market crisis, the foreclosure fiasco and banks going under and now the billion dollar bail-out.  All of it caused by debt: living on credit. Yet the Duggar’s are doing well, because they don’t live on credit. They don’t live on state hand-outs.  They work hard and pay cash for what they have. I would say God has blessed those efforts very well.

I saw some comments on a forum about a double-standard with the Duggar’s doing a TV show, when they do not watch TV. I don’t see it that way at all, I think they feel a call by God to help others see children as blessings. To see that a large family in today’s society can not only survive, but thrive – financially and emotionally.  It is still possible to have several children, raise them with decent morals, a good work ethic and to show what a functional family looks like. We’re so used to seeing dysfunctional – I think many have forgotten what functional should be.  They are trying to help others.  Are they getting paid to do the show? I don’t know: quite possibly they are.  So what is wrong with that? They are allowing cameras into their home, they are earning it just like any other reality TV family is doing.  For giving up of their privacy, the criticism, ridicule and rude comments they receive from strangers – all for trying to help others, I say they probably aren’t paid nearly enough.

Obviously to get the results the Duggar’s have gotten with their children, it takes a different approach than those of most of society is using.  You need household rules and guidelines with discipline.  They have an organizational system in place that works well for them.  Their buddy system seems to get a lot of criticism and I don’t understand that.  We see a 30-minute show, not 24/7 of their daily lives, so we can not judge their whole life based on an edited 30 minute show!  I have seen in their shows, Michelle sitting and holding the young children – 2 or 3 of them at once.  In the New York episode, she was reprimanding Johanna for apparently talking in a inappropriate tone of voice, as she was correcting her and telling her how she should speak.  No older sibling buddy was doing that – Michelle was.  So she is clearly more hands-on in their care than some are choosing to see.

I have viewed forum comments stating the children looked ‘scared’ or programmed… I’m not sure what episode those folks watched, or what few glimpses of an episode they might have caught, but if you watched last night’s episodes (10/13/08) where the Duggar and the Bates family got together and went to Branson, played paintball and went skydiving!; no way you could say those kids are sheltered, scared or programmed.  They were playing just like normal kids.

Bottom line is I think people are intimidated by what is different from their own belief system; so they lash out at what’s different.  Kind of like the bully in grade school.  For the Christians acting like this – shame on you! If you don’t want 17 or 18 kids, then don’t have that many.  The Duggar’s are not telling you to go out and have 18 kids; but they are trying to spread the message to please view all children as blessings.

I see the Duggar family as trying to give encouragement, hope and be a positive role model for families to look to as to what a functional family could be.  No doubt they are a role model for quiverful families, even if we do not agree in all areas with their faith or convictions.

This isn’t about, “we must all do exactly as the Duggar’s do”, or “we must all be quiverful”. The core message is that children are blessings.  Even if your family might wear pants, watch TV, allows dating, chooses public school and isn’t super-sized: it’s the love for children, as well as our commitment to our faith in Christ, that we can all share. I would hope it’s the same love of Christ that would keep comments civil and leave the judging of another Christian family up to God, where it belongs.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Galatians 5:6

Learn More About the Quiverful Movement

The Duggars: 20 and Counting! By Michelle & Jim Bob Duggar / Howard Books Take a close inside look at the supersize Duggar family (18 children plus parents)! Since their first documentary on the Discovery Health Network, viewers have been fascinated with the story of this couple’s faith and belief that children are a blessing from God. Their first book, The Duggars: 20 and Counting, is an inspiring and entertaining collection of stories, photos, recipes, tips, traditions, and practical ideas designed to answer the questions of the curious. Some of the questions they answer are “Why do you have so many children?”, “How do you provide for your family financially?”, “How do you handle mealtimes…transportation… laundry…birthdays?”, “How are your children so well behaved?”, and “Why do all your children have names that begin with J?”. Adopt a few ideas from the Duggars and improve the peace and love inside the walls of your own home. Paperback.