I am not a huge TV watcher. I don’t have time to sit and watch TV, and when I do, I find there’s precious little on actually worth watching. What I find particularly disturbing is reality TV. Most of it I find ridiculous and well, silly – at best, and often rude, crude and just plain stupid. Aside from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, I have little use for any reality TV.

This past summer, I happened to be flipping channels one day, and I catch this show about a large family, and see advertisements for reality shows on other large families. There were a few of them. Mmmm? Curiosity gets the best of me, so I tune in to see what this was all about. I should have known that if it was on television, and labeled as reality TV, that I could be assured of two things:

1. It was not any reality that I could relate to, nor would I want to
2. The show would be more interested in ratings above all else.

These were not “help” or “how to” shows. This was for “rubber neckers” to gawk at large families who live day-to-day life badly. Unorganized. Chaotic. Falling apart at the seams. These families were not the Duggars, with their well-behaved children and an organized and well run home.

These families, from the episodes that I saw, were also not necessarily Christian, nor quiverful in their religious convictions or beliefs, so were not large families for religious reasons. One family was large because of multiple birth and another was a blended family (yours, mine and ours). I realize that not every family is “perfect” (none are), and I would not want, or expect, to see the Cleavers in a reality TV show; but the chaos, disorder and even the disrespect and tension between the spouses was certainly more than I cared to watch and not anything I wanted my children to watch.

I guess the TV producers are banking on human nature: the need to watch that which we know we shouldn’t. Not unlike those who just have to slow down and stare at car accidents to see what they can see; people seem to be drawn to this chaotic madness, the fighting, the whining, the stress level off the scale – I guess hoping to catch, on film, a parent really losing it either at a child or at their spouse. I guess that would be the ultimate in ratings draw. To me – it’s sick and discouraging.

There’s one show in particular that really bugs me. Perhaps for one episode, you can have sympathy for the mother with all those children. Yep, no doubt, that would be tough. But after about two or three episodes, you just want to go in there and tell her to get a grip and RELAX! Stop talking to your husband like he’s two years old and might I suggest she get some mentoring advice herself. The woman has issues. This is obvious. I’m not sure what’s going through the family’s mind when they agreed to let cameras come into their home.

• Are they wanting sympathy for their situation? They might get lots of sympathy; but they certainly do not shine the light on large families in a positive way.
• Do they think they have it all together and are going to help someone else and lead by example? They have said on the show, they are not perfect. This is obvious, but I think they could be the brunt of more jokes than not. Maybe they don’t care. There must be a reason for putting their family in the public spotlight.

Unlike the few Nanny themed shows that actually come in amidst chaos and create some order and help, even providing some useful tips that viewers can use (even if I don’t 100% agree with every tip and method used, it’s still not all bad); these big family shows are nothing really but a big side-show circus act. What’s worse, is that it will further the erroneous notion that large families are too much trouble and not feasible in today’s world. This of course, is not true!

There are thousands [hundreds of thousands most likely] of quiverful families in the United States alone, who I’m sure could do a much better job at showing the world what the average large family is like. Most large families don’t have multiples like the reality show family does, so day-to-day life for them will be very different. The reality TV that would be real, and helpful, would be a show on a large family that would show a bit more reality and perhaps offer some useful tips that families of any size could use.

The question is: would America watch, listen and learn. The Duggar’s certainly get their fair share of press, and America tunes in to watch – is there enough interest for more than that? I get a ton of hits every day on this web site alone for the search term “quiverful” or “large Christian families” or derivative of that; why is that, if folks are not seeking answers, or are at least curious. We may not get our own TV show, but as a large quiverful Christian family, we are still a witness to others. I have an article on this very topic: A Large Family as a Witness & Ministry.

Live, in person viewing of your family and how you really are; how your children really behave and how you respond to them. That’s reality that TV can’t come close to. Your impact on others, as a family, in Walmart or the grocery store is going to have more influence than a TV show. People are watching. Remember, it’s human nature to stare, gawk and rubber neck at what is perceived as different or unusual. Large families in today’s society are not the norm. Set out to be your own live version of “reality” (sans TV) and just by going to the store, as a family, you can be a witness for Christ.

Will your family be a good witness? I hope so. It takes child training. Practice drills to teach the children expected behavior in public, and as reminders before you leave home. Remember, “teach the children the way they should go…”, don’t get mad at Johnny for throwing a fit in Walmart, if you didn’t teach him by practicing and rehearsing expected behavior before you got to the door.

Okay – so train your children. Ready your family. Set out to provide your own dose of reality. Make it worthy of positive attention and Christ-like behavior that would draw others to you. You can be different and set apart just by being nice and having manners! Let your lights shine for Christ.