Yesterday on Facebook, my cousin’s husband posted a link to an article titled 15 Reasons I Left the Church.  Interesting article discussing reasons why this particular woman left the church and cited a study on why 20 somethings are choosing to leave the church.

Let me state up front – some of the reasons in that article, I completely agree with; others I completely disagree with.  But I felt strongly enough on this topic to write about it here and open it up for discussion.

A brief history on my church experience:  I was not raised in a Christian home. My parents were not wild party animals, but they also did not regularly attend church.  They always stated they wanted me to be able to choose my religion.  My grandmother was a Christian and regularly attended church.

Growing up, especially as I got older, I naturally questioned why my parents said or did what they did.  Why we had the house rules we did.  What were they using as their base or guideline for what they believed, or didn’t believe.  With my grandmother, I knew her convictions came from the Bible.

It wasn’t until 1988 (just a few days after my divorce) that I was born again during an altar call in a large local non-denominational church service I had attended with a business acquaintance.  It was a life changing event, and I know fully that I was saved on that day and made the right choice to follow Christ.  What was not quite as easy was living life and learning about Jesus, the Bible, etc.. after that.

At the point of my salvation experience, I was still very much a shy introvert. Today I’m still an introvert, just not shy.  So being shy and not comfortable for very long around large groups of people made it very difficult for me to speak up, ask questions, ask for help or volunteer to do anything – all of which would have helped me get to know other people.  It seemed I was lost amongst the large congregation and no one noticed.

To say that my Christian walk got off to a slow start would be an understatement.  When I remarried in 1993; my new husband was also a Christian, also a shy introvert and came from a large non-denominational congregation.  Because of where we lived, we tried to find a new church home we could settle into.  This was not easy!  We found most churches to be surface friendly; but down deep – everyone was either too busy, or just didn’t really care, to make new friends or welcome the newcomers into the church congregation.

Then there were the doctrinal differences.  No one church believed, or had the same personal convictions, that we did.  We felt like outsiders in our own faith.

In the years since, God has delivered me from my shyness (but I still remain an introvert); and this has helped us get to know some folks in churches we have attended.  But the one issue that I still have today with churches we’ve attended:  where is the local community outreach to help those in need?  Times are tough – folks are hungry and need help.  Yet I do not see ongoing, daily service to these folks.

I see shoe boxes of stuff gathered at Christmas.  I see money collected to help foreign missions (which is a good cause!); but what about those folks in your own neighborhood?  I do not see anything being done to help them.

There are church plays, programs, events, etc.. that all seem to be done to entertain the church congregation more than to help those not in the church.  It’s frustrating.  If we’re here on this earth to do God’s work.  To reach others for Christ – then we need to go where they are, help them with their real needs – all done in the love of Christ – before they’ll even be in a place to listen to the gospel.  Sometimes the gospel that speaks the loudest is that which is seen, not heard.

⁴³ I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ ⁴⁴ Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not  take care of You?’ ⁴⁵ Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.  Matthew 25:43-45

Is asking for ongoing service to a local community too much to ask of a church congregation?  I don’t want a liberal church who is bending and changing to try and keep up with modern culture that is moving further away from Jesus and the truth of the Bible.  I want a church who is willing to stand firm with the word of God, and help those in need without judgement (as Jesus did) and who is trying to make a difference right in their own neighborhoods on a regular, ongoing basis.  Not a once or twice a year pet project, but real ongoing help.

People do not care how much you know, they want to know how much you care.  I have felt this way myself when it comes to interacting with folks in the church; the same is true for those not in the church.  Why would anyone want what Christians have, if all they see Christians have is self righteous attitudes and pre-established cliques reminiscent of high school.

My husband and I have tried a wide variety of churches – even home churching with a small group of folks. What we have discovered is that there is no perfect church; because they all contain imperfect people.  I can fully see why we have so many denominations, because others have tried to create their own idea of what a perfect church congregation should be … and then the congregation shows up and “perfect” is thrown out the window.

I wish I could say I had found the answer to this dilemma, but I have not.  I long for a church of service that actively reaches out and helps those in need in their neighborhood.  If serving those in need is the same as serving Christ himself – then this help should come from the church congregations.

I’ve had it suggested to me that I should start such a service to the community.  Great idea – but honestly, it takes more than just one person to do it.  Without a congregation of willing folks to help – the idea is just that: an idea.

I’ll be praying about this.  It’s really weighing heavily on me, so the Lord is doing something – just not sure what.  But until I know for sure, I sure wish churches would step up and do what the Bible calls us to. Serve others – literally.

Does your church have a soup kitchen, do you help the homeless, orphans, widows or  have a prison ministry?  I’d like to hear about it.

Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversay a couple days early (it’s on Valentine’s Day) and we took our three youngest children (10, 11 & 12) with us to a movie and out to dinner at Cracker Barrel.

We had been sitting at the table just a few minutes, still trying to decide what to order, had already gotten our drinks and the waitress came up to me and said: “Your children are so well behaved, well mannered and patient!” I smiled, said thank you – but wow, are they really behaving so different from any other children their age to warrant an out of the way compliment on their behavior? I would hope any pre-teen child would have enough self-control and manners to be able to go to a restaurant without issue or incident.

Then today, I went to Walmart to get a couple things. I was alone and stopped to look at some things in an aisle. I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye to my left; I turned and saw an elderly gentlemen in one of those motorized carts and he apparently had spoken to me and repeated his request: “Excuse me, I need to make a turn.” I was blocking his way and I replied: “I’m so sorry, I am deaf in this ear and didn’t hear you.” I moved out of the way and smiled.

He then started chatting with me, talking about his wife, joking about who had the worse hearing – him or her. I happily engaged him in conversation. He then asked me to help him find something on the shelf, which I gladly did.

He then stopped and asked me: “Are you from around here?”

“Yes, I live here in town.”, I replied.

“Did you graduate from here?”, he asked

“No, I’m originally from Fenton; but we live here now.”

“Did you go to Catholic high school. You have excellent manners.”, he said.

I smiled, “No, but I am a Christian and do believe in using good manners.”

He stated, “Well it shows.”

I told him thank you! We ended our short visit and each went on our way.

Good manners are part of integrity and honesty.  It displays your character.

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.” ~J.C. Watts

To say that I don’t get out much, would be an understatement. I work from home, we homeschool and I’m a homebody – but when I do go out, I try to smile, be pleasant, encourage someone and use my manners. I don’t do this for the attention, I do this because I truly feel this is how I am to share the love of Christ with others as I go about what I’m doing. I do this when my children are with me (to model to them what to do), I do this when I’m alone (like today), because it’s the right thing to do.

Obviously these seemingly small things do make a difference. Simply by using my manners. Wow!

In Him,

How do you try to be an encouragement and a good witness to others?

Since 2005, my life has gotten busier and plain out of control! My business took off, Mark lost his job and I found myself the sole bread winner for our family.  With Mark not finding work for over 2.5 years, I’m thankful that I had the skills and ability to make the income we needed; but honestly, a ‘career’ and being the breadwinner of the family was not what I had ever wanted.

The only career I have ever wanted since I was a little girl – was to be a wife and mother:  a homemaker.  That’s it.  Can anyone else relate?

I learned web design, and all my technical skills, because I discovered I had a knack for it and I really like it.  So while I have always treated my clients with the utmost professionalism, I took work as I chose to, and Mark has always said the income I earned from my web design company supported my dog habit. LOL

All that changed in 2009 when Mark lost his job and after months of searching, it quickly became evident that the job market was not great and I had to do something.  So I did.

I’ve done very well, had a record year in income in 2011; but all that “success” comes with a cost.  With my health issues, and the long hours I’ve had to work to keep up with the work load, my home has suffered. Tell me I’m not the only one!

The Lord has been speaking to me about this issue, and with prayer, I have come up with a solution. Today I started a new daily home routine for me, a new schedule of household chores not only for me, but also for the three children we still have at home.

I created the housekeeping schedule, breaking down the work into manageable chunks, spreading it out throughout the week, to keep me from getting overwhelmed and also to work around my health issues, which limits how much I know I can do in a given day.

Today was day one, and so far so good. The children seem relieved, and honestly, so is my husband.

It will take a full week, possibly two, before I’ll see the full results with every room being cleaned and organized to my liking; but I have a plan.  We’ll get there.

In Him,