I often hear the term “like-minded” tossed around the web; quite often when we receive applications for ladies wishing to join the T2CHK message board. They have found the Titus 2 Christian HomeKeeper web site and apply to join the private message board; whereupon we send out a questionnaire to ensure, mainly, that a live person, and not a spam robot or a real-live spammer!, has attempted to join the board. The questions are simple, no right or wrong answers, but they help us know a little about who is applying, how they found our site, why they want to join and a brief testimony, if they are born-again (we do allow those still seeking and not yet saved, to join the board as well). Quite often I see them write they want to fellowship with “like-minded” ladies. This one small term has caused quite a bit of controversy over the years, not just on our message board, but across the web in various email groups and message forums I have belonged to.

In almost every case, when someone posts “like-minded” they have a specific issue in mind, more often than not, a specific personal conviction – usually along the lines of modest dress (usually dresses-only), headcovering, homeschooling, homebirthing, stay-at-home mom, etc….. While it’s true, we have many ladies on our message board who would also be “like-minded” in those same areas, but all are not, and T2CHK does not promote like-mindedness in this fashion.

T2CHK is a grace based ministry that I co-lead with my dear friend Sylvia. The Lord has clearly given us a vision and goal for this ministry and that’s to reach women to encourage, instruct and mentor them in their roles as Christian wives and mothers wherever they are in the spiritual walk with the Lord. We have a diverse group of women on our message board and all are welcome and no rebuke given to those who may live their lives differently than Sylvia or I, or anyone else on the board. We have women who work full-time outside the home, whose children go to public school and they wear pants. We also have women who are full-time homemakers, who homeschool their children and are dresses-only and wear headcoverings. So too, we have women who have no children, single women (with and without children), older women and younger women. We are a diverse group and we get a long very well! Some would call this tolerance – I disagree, I view tolerance as putting up with someone else’s wrong or negative behavior from the stance that you’re right and they’re wrong, but you’re going to be nice and “put up with it”. Webster’s define tolerance as:

sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own b : the act of allowing something

I instead think of it as we’re loving everyone who joins the board. No matter if they are saved or not. It’s the love for one another that we strive to emulate on the board, so that those who are still seeking God, and not yet saved, will see it’s possible to live among others and be the unique person God created you to be. We aren’t judging ladies who may be different that we are – we just love them as God commanded us to do. If they have areas or issues they seek help with, then we offer that, using scripture, personal experiences, knowledge/wisdom we’ve gained and prayer to help them. However, we will not bend or sway from the Word on an issue, to make someone feel better – if someone asks for help or advice, it will be given in a loving manner, but it will be Truth and that’s not always easy to hear. So we do have a higher level of accountability in that regard.

What our ministry is not: a church. We are primarily an online ministry with a few offline retreat events. This means we rely a lot on trust – trust that what is being posted by the board members is true; and by discernment given to Sylvia and I by the Holy Spirit – we do often get clear word or direction from the Holy Spirit on board situations and how we should handle those. Because we do not know most board members in-person, we can not, and do not, act as a church would regarding Biblical discipline. We are primarily mentors and while we do have guidelines in place for the board and how we handle those who disregard those guidelines, when it comes to discipline for sins or behavior that happens offline, we are not in a position to discipline those and use prayer and instruction to help those ladies do the right and scriptural thing in those situations.

All that said, we are different, apparently, from most other online Christian ladies ministries in that we do hold our members to a higher standard of expected behavior. We do not allow husband bashing, gossip, hateful speech – this includes posting a response on the board from the stance that your convictions are “right” and those who do differently are “wrong” and sinning. We believe that wives should be submissive to their husbands and the husband is the authority in the home – so while we may offer advice and tips to help a woman in need, we will always direct her to seek her husband’s thoughts and to follow his lead. We do not equate submission with being a doormat! Quite the contrary, women do have the right and responsibility, as helpmeet to their husbands, to share their thoughts and opinions, in a respectful manner (read: don’t nag!), on any given situation – communication in any marriage is essential! But it is not God’s design for the women to lead the home and we do adhere to this Biblical principle on the board with the advice and instruction we give.

Because we are such a diverse group, it is a new experience for many ladies to learn how to communicate and get along with ladies who are so different from them, without falling into the old habit of imposing their convictions on others as the only “right” way to live a Christian life. The central and core like-mindedness should always be Christ and his command to love others as ourselves.

So if you would like to check out the T2CHK message board, we would love to have you – no matter what your personal convictions. Just keep in mind that you’re entering a diverse group of ladies who love, pray for and support one another – differences and all.

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Written by Traci Knoppe ©: Aside from her roles as wife, mother of six, mother-in-law and grandmother, Traci also works at home as a business owner.

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